Forum Archive Index - October 2000

[Mike Nelson <bb2345@ihug.co.nz>]

The last time I was in London I stayed at the Hyatt in Knightsbridge just
around the corner from Harrods.

Thank god I'm not an accountant.

MN


At 02:31 PM 01-10-00 +0100, you wrote:
>From time to time I am rung by Kiwi moochers who want
>free accommodation in London. The latest two were a
>treat. 
>
>Both of them were professionals from Auckland in their
>early thirties.
>
>After they arrived we decided to get something to eat.
>So out we went to my favourite restaurant.
>
>The waiter came to take the order and I chose the
>crown roast, followed by cherries jubilee (an old
>favourite) along with an earthy but not
>overly-friendly Chilean red and finishing with thick
>Brazilian coffee.  
>
>The waiter then turned to the Kiwis. "Just water
>please", they replied. What an embarrassment. 
>
>Out came my meal which I attacked with gusto while the
>Kiwis had water. Apparently they couldn't afford food.
>I thought about tossing them a celery stick each but
>instead launched into a speech about economies.
>
>"You can't come from a rice and potatoes economy to a
>crown roast economy and expect to eat proper food", I
>said.
>
>They pulled out a calculator (they were accountants)
>and we determined that the cost of my meal (including
>tips) was the equivalent of an average week's wages in
>banana-land. Each tasty bite would take nearly two
>hours for the average kiwi to earn.
>
>Feeling guilty I shouted them a carton of Chinese
>(moggy fried rice) on the way home and left them
>munching contentedly at the kitchen table.
>
>Given they were saving hundreds of banana dollars on
>accommodation I thought they could have shouted me.
>
>As they curled up in their sleeping-bags on my living
>room floor, I thought this must be what it feels like
>to be a Texan married to a Mexican and having all the
>wet-back rellies turn up penniless.
>
>Lastly, I told them a bed-time story about currencies,
>interest rates, GDP and economic collapse. The one
>where Cinderella (New Zealand) never gets the prince
>but ends up working in a sweat-shop with a fag hanging
>out of her mouth.
>
>They smiled; happy to have a roof to sleep under as I
>turned out the light. Bless their peasant hearts. 
>
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